Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life
“No” I whisper softly as I forget to hold in ‘alt’ while reblogging
isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like “I don’t know how to hold a pencil”
Rubeus Remus Potter. You were named after the only two people at Hogwarts who seemed to give shit about me, because come on who else would I name you after? A verbally abusive dickbag who was in love with my mum and gave me shit all my life and someone who convinced a bunch of children that they needed to be soldiers? What kind of awful aspirations would that make you end up having? Come on son I’m not an idiot…
My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.
I still say this was hilarious fuck you guys
Submitted by smutprincess.
[#431. Asexuals can, without fail, physically intimidate most birds.]